Expectations

Expectations, assumptions and opinions probably drive us all. Life is all about decision making and that point is well made in Dr. Viktor Frankl's book (Man's Search for Meaning) that explains Logotherapy in part along with his experiences and those of others during the Holocaust. One thing that was held dear to the victims, was the survival and strength of bonding with family. But I suppose the downside in life along with decision making in general is that you can choose your friends i.e. make the decision to gain and keep their acquaintance, but you cannot choose your neighbours and family.

We have had bad neighbours, well that is a gross understatement, we have actually had in my opinion what I would allege as diabolically bad neighbours. What doesn't surprise me about them, is that they meet the expectations of the Elisian analysis in that you are what your parents were. So bad breeds bad and so on. There are studies that argue that things change at certain ages within your development or if certain impacts change your way of thinking. This could be a traumatic experience that gets you to re-evaluate your life. Frankl appeared to stand up for that argument as well, but understood that the meaning of life is different for each and every one of us.

I have always believed that you have to know where you came from to understand where you are going. We were fortunate that father was a stand up sort of guy, who although Bohemian before his time, also held a strong set of values that put family, King and Country and community at the fore. It would be of no surprise to Norbert Elias to find that I hold the same value set. So, just like bad breeds bad, good breeds good. Mind you, I also believe that we are all have good within ourselves, however one may manifest his/her outer persona. You may be wondering where all of this is leading? Well, it's about family. Not the one that I know but the one that I tracked down during me recent/current ancestral research.

My stand up father had an elder brother. And given that Elias's views are replicated by my behaviour and value set being similar to that of my father, it comes of no surprise to recognise that his brother was also a stand up sort of guy as well. We met his son John and daughter Helen and their respective spouses for lunch only yesterday. It was a cold day that was brightened up by the warmth of their reception and interaction with me, my grandson, wife and two of our daughters. To put it mildly, they were lovely people. Worldly wise, educated and able to engage in social intercourse over a range of diverse topics. I thoroughly enjoyed their flying stories, no not BA and Virgin, but Cessna and other single or twin engine craft with self leveling horizon or not. I have no idea what they thought of my 'fire' stories, but Pauline admitted in the car on the long journey home from Aberporth that her jaw hurt from laughing. Funny really, because the stories in themselves were no laughing matter and related to the few people that I have personally saved during my long career. Lunch was delightful and it was nice to note that they were tolerant of our eighteen month grandson in that he had no intention of sitting still for anyone. Well with a huge hotel and many rooms and several flights of stairs to explore, would you have sat still?

Uncle Len, I salute you. You certainly done a good job bringing up your family and it is delightful to gain their acquaintance, even if it is in their twilight years.

Expectations and Proportionality

I sell and buy a few things on Ebay, usually to feed my passion for making models in various scales from waste materials. The Norman Motte and Bailey in the previous post is an example of one of my larger Ebay sales. That was based on one inch hardwood ply, and constructed of polystyrene, card, sand, manufactured flocks, paint and glue (PVA).

Every once in a while someone passes by my Ebay listings who doesn’t quite get what’s going on. They think that the £46 worth of finely detailed painted lead soldiers are included with the £2.50 model or believe that Scratch Built is some new multi national manufacturer. Sorry to disappoint you folks, but the lead soldiers are staying in the tin, and 'Scratch Built' means made at home. Well in my case, in the garage, with the up and over garage door open, and usually in the dead of winter while wrapped up in a scarf and a bobble hat.

And then there are expectations. Mine are quite low, as I recognise that no one is out to scam anyone, and even with the P&P (Shipping) there are highs and lows. What you gain with one transaction, you probably loose with another. Plus of course there’s your time, the costs associated with materials, Ebay fees, Paypal fees and postage. I cannot recall ever leaving poor feedback for a seller. No one held my hand while I made the bid, it was my choice. Even when the item does not meet my expectations, I can always make improvements or add something nice and sell it on. Or simply put it in a drawer and mark it down to experience.

I suppose that’s where a sense of proportionality comes in; I normally buy and sell low cost items. I’m not buying a £250,000 house or a £75,000 car so I can afford to keep my head. So why do others loose theirs over £3.99? They need to recognise what Scratch Built is, and understand that those fabulous figures that dress the model won’t be arriving in the box, maybe just maybe their expectations will be better placed. And, even after this explanation they still don’t get what’s going on then all I ask is 'please, please, please' email me before the end of the auction so I can explain it all over again. Bidding is their choice, I’m not holding their hand and no one is forcing them to decide how much (if anything) to bid. If they make that choice and are unhappy when they receive the item, then the buyer needs to analyse the choices that were made rather than proportion blame this end. And if after all of that they still don’t get it, then please, please, please don’t be a John. Drop me an email before leaving poor feedback, as we will work something out. It may not be exactly what they want but it will be a resolution.

Maybe this is where the British went wrong when they plundered Africa and other colonies. If you have the right things to sell, then Trade routes could have been opened without aggression. All that was needed was the right level of expectations, proportionality and interaction. Instead there was greed and a lack of proportionality with high expectations on the outcome. Expectations that were wholly one sided and failed to consider both the initial and long term interests of the other party.

Castles and Defence

Castles are an important part of the British heritage. Imported into Britain by the Norman conquerors when after defeating Harold they established a series of earth and stone mounds known as a Motte with an outer barricaded courtyard known as a Bailey. The Normans were prolific Castle builders and one huge example was built in an astonishing 8 days. The Norman castle building took off after an uprising in the North of England and the subsequent punishment issued by the Normans that destroyed homes, livestock and land and which led to thousands upon thousands of deaths. The subsequent completion of over 500 Motte and Bailey castles gave way to stone castles as the Norman leadership strived to increase their hold on the United Kingdom. Wales in particular was known as a land of thieves and held in low esteem by the Normans. And that's what people do isn't it? Unfair judgements based on ad-hoc and usually low key experiences. Human beings are keen to judge and historically the British are as bad as any other nation. The Zulu wars from 1879 are a prime example of British opinionated superior ism. But as I come to the end of two books written by the Historian and Author Ian Knight, I can only conclude that the Africans were in many ways superior in culture, tactics and strategy. Theirs was a just cause, but unfortunately they lacked the technological advantages of evolving weaponry. And after Iswalanda the Africans were too keen to inflict further defeat without understanding the true value of a defensive area where a rifle could keep warriors with stabbing spears and cowhide shields easily at bay. Rorke's Drift was no castle but the defensive principles are in many ways the same as the Norman Motte and Bailey. Invaders establishing a safety perimeter and lording it over others. Britain in the 11th Century and Africa in the 19th.

Anyway it's great to be back and I send best wishes to all of those that check into the Blog from various parts of the World.

The photograph shows a Norman early wooden version Motte and Bailey model. The model was constructed for 15mm high war gaming soldiers. The water is made from PVA and the white area dried clear after the photograph was taken.