Today is the first day of Spring in the UK. It's got nothing to do with the date, nor the weather, or even the odd daffodil that has popped up. Apparently it has something to do with the Moon, but what exactly, I simply don't know. I do know that folklore regards the 21 March as the First Day of Spring, so maybe Mrs B has got her dates mixed up, when she assured old sleepy head that today was the day.
Well I certainly had a spring in my step upon hearing the news. Even on a dreary day like today. I managed to break into our shed. Not any old shed mind you, but the fortress that has stood in our garden for some nine years. Built by yours truly, from scratch, and not a window or weak point in sight. There are several advantages to not having a window; (i) you don't have to buy any glass, (ii) there's no need for putty, (iii) no need for tricky corner joints, and (iv) you can't simply tap the glass and break in. I had to break in you see, because the shed key came adrift from the key chain. I have scoured the garden and the tiny stones in the backyard for weeks now. But it was to no avail, the lost key could not be found and the spare keys had gone missing during the kitchen make-over.
I set aside several hours of this dreary First Day of Spring to complete the task. It took me 10 minutes including repairing the damage. Some fortress then, not a window in sight. A shed that was complete with a secure lock that had locking bolts and retainers, and are not simply screwed in. No, the locking mechanism on this hand crafted non shop bought shed, had devices that were bolted in place to stop Mr Thief unscrewing the fixings. This is not the first time in my life that I have secured something properly. I once used prison non reversible screws. The screw heads are chanfered in one direction so the flat screw driver will engage when turning clockwise (the direction of tightening) but slips when you try and turn the screwdriver anti-clockwise. These type of screws are also referred to as 'Jail Head' screws. You simply cannot apply torque in one direction but can use a normal screwdriver to insert a permanent installation. So I know my security stuff, and of course, I'm starting to learn my law stuff as well.
Ten minutes, that was all the time it took, to get in and out, and repair the damage. Even the community police officer who assessed our home a few months back missed that one. He was well impressed, like me, with the shed. But then again nothing is secure when someone is determined and opportunity exists. That also applies to arguments and positions and not only to physical structures. What we erect can be taken down, however good we think that the position or structure is. However good we think we are, there is always someone better, and there is usually someone who is at least worthy of the task.
Whether or not its the First Day of Spring didn't matter one little bit. Although there was an upside, I was able to make a coffee and then hide away in the garage tidying up several months worth of mess. It's messy in the garage because I am too busy fighting others to hold up high our family name and reputation, and fighting takes time, it takes energy, and it means that those tasks that you really need to do, simply get put to one side. I have to tidy up, just in case the Japanese Ambassador rings and takes me up on that offer. I mean, I can't have the place looking messy if we have a few guests over for a few months, can I?
Now where was that key? I know; it was inside the locked shed, lying in full view on the floor. Sods Law ain't it? And I know quite a bit about that. Indeed, I am learning quite a bit about quite a few Laws. Mind you, my all-time favourite is still 'Trial by Combat', make mine a Single Ball Mace complete with leather handle, any day.
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